Saturday, February 27, 2016

Practical Strategies for Positive Parenting

Unfortunately, common sense parenting skills are rare to find these days, and it shows.  Many of us could benefit from programs like RIP, a Regional Intervention Program that teaches parents basic parenting skills.  That was the topic of our fifth parenting discussion, led by my friend who is a mother of four and who went through the RIP program herself.

Yes, I said "all" parents could benefit.  Even with 20 years of parenting six kids and extensive experience both teaching and learning HOW to teach, I learned quite a lot from this lecture.  Of course it's best if both Mom and Dad can come, but any help is better than none!
Luckily, she shared a handout.  Now you, too, can get back to basics!

RIP's Basic Strategies 

  • State Expectations in Advance:  Give one clear instruction.
  • Catch Your Child Being Good:  Give specific, positive attention to the behavior that you want to occur again.
  • Present Limited Reasonable Choices:  Learning to take personal responsibility takes support and practice.
  • Use "When…..Then":  Give a simple instruction that tells your child what he must do in order to earn a desired consequence.
  • Plan Ahead:  Hope for the best, plan for the worst.
  • Know What is Reasonable:  Keep your expectations realistic.  (Part of this is understanding child development, part is knowing your child.  If you suspect that your child may have special needs, seek the help of a qualified professional.)
  • Stay Calm:  The more out-of-control your child becomes, the more self control you need to use.  (If you have problems with anger management or depression, seek professional help.)
  • Use Neutral Time:  The best time to talk is when everyone is calm enough to listen.

Extra Stress

Not all couples are on the same page when it comes to parenting.  Understandably, problem behaviors can drive a wedge between you two and create terrible stress.  If you are struggling while your spouse/partner is oblivious, there are good books and websites that can get you started with parenting help, and you may want to seek help as a couple, as well.
  • Mayo Clinic  Has information on parenting a child with ADHD, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, etc.
I wish that all parents and teachers who struggle with problem behavior (um, I guess that's all of us!) would participate!



34 comments:

  1. I'd like to be in touch with Meredith. Could you pass me her info.?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi, Heather, I sent you a message via Google+ with my contact information.
      Meredith

      Delete
  2. The only thing I would clarify is that RIP is more of a behavioral therapy program than a parenting class. I was happy to share more about our experience when Sarah asked me to talk because it was such a life changer for us. Our hope was that by sharing a few of the principles behind positive reinforcement, parents who might be struggling would be encouraged that there are evidence-based alternatives and resources available.

    Meredith

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is a good post for young parent like us.
    Thank for share !

    ReplyDelete
  4. Look at you judging strangers in the aisles of Target and making them fodder for blog posts. Shame on you. You have no idea what that mother had been through that day or what was going on in her life. You heard one exasperated comment?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your comment! In opening up a conversation about trends in American parenting, I try to steer clear of "shame" and focus on how we might improve our adult responses to children's behavior. I have been a people watcher all of my life! Anonymous vignettes can be helpful in "keeping it real" vis-a-vis current parenting practices, and the aisles of Target seem as good a place as any to observe parenting theory when the rubber hits the road.

      Delete
  5. I really appreciate your article.. Parenting is an important job and it’s key that we discipline in a way that teaches responsibility by motivating our children internally, to build their self-esteem and make them feel loved.

    ReplyDelete
  6. It's useful for the new parents like me. I appreciate it.
    Thanks for sharing it and look forward to seeing more article like this.

    ReplyDelete
  7. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Give specific, positive attention to the behavior that you want to occur again.

    ReplyDelete
  9. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  10. In the past, children have been treated as the personal property of their parents. Under Roman law, the patria protestas doctrine gave fathers life and death power over their children. To this day, the popular presumption is that children belong to their parents.SMG

    ReplyDelete
  11. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Miraculous blog site!! I would surely bookmark this site and every day I’ll get more and more latest information.
    Chris Matthews

    ReplyDelete
  13. weighing your baby Its an incredible joy perusing your post.Its brimming with data I am searching for and I want to post a remark that "The substance of your post is marvelous" Great work.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Thank you for helping people get the information they need. Great stuff as usual. Keep up the great work!!! https://www.betadadblog.com/parents-role-model-children/

    ReplyDelete
  15. Over the years since my divorce, the mother's behavior has only intensified. Eventually, I came to learn the meaning of terms such as Parental Alienation (PA), Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), and Hostile Aggressive Parenting (HAP), and experienced how easily the family court system can be manipulated by false allegations.Deborah Braud

    ReplyDelete
  16. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  17. These rights depend on a child's advantages and needs instead of responsibility for child. We surely don't possess our children.Barbie printables

    ReplyDelete
  18. The qualities we give them are not our own. Our own qualities were blended when they were transmitted to us by our parents. Our qualities are outside our ability to control.Clek Foonf Baby Car Seat Review

    ReplyDelete
  19. Who are the new stay-at-home moms and dads? The real facts and basic information on parents that choose to stay at home nowadays. parenting teens tips

    ReplyDelete
  20. Wonderful blog! Do you have any tips and hints for aspiring writers? Because I’m going to start my website soon, but I’m a little lost on everything. Many thanks! Where to buy leather backpack diaper bag in USA?

    ReplyDelete
  21. Thanks for a wonderful share. Your article has proved your hard work and experience you have got in this field. Brilliant .i love it reading. parenting

    ReplyDelete
  22. Consistently, a large number of children the whole way across the nation are put under the watchful eye of child care offices.child care miranda

    ReplyDelete
  23. I am just so satisfied with the outcome thank you so much.cleaning

    ReplyDelete
  24. I Have Read Your Article its Amazing Thanks For Sharing Your Knowledge..
    Best Bow Sight

    ReplyDelete
  25. Most parents I meet never get acclaim and what it accomplishes for the kid. They are excessively bustling looking and anticipating that all an inappropriate things should occur. Once more as I have been stating all through this book, it is a stunt of the brain, this time by the parent.Your child’s success

    ReplyDelete
  26. Interesting blog. I observed common sense parenting skills program like RIP etc. This program gives information to parents how to stay calm and preventing extra stress etc. Really this is a very useful blog. Thanks for giving such a piece of valuable information.

    ReplyDelete
  27. When deciding the best humidifier for your baby's room comfort, there are a few components to mull over.humidifier for baby room

    ReplyDelete
  28. This is my first time i visit here. I found so many interesting stuff in your blog especially its discussion. From the tons of comments on your articles, I guess I am not the only one having all the enjoyment here keep up the good work mommy blog

    ReplyDelete
  29. I was surfing the Internet for information and came across your blog. I am impressed by the information you have on this blog. It shows how well you understand this subject. mommy blog

    ReplyDelete